KoRn - "Did My Time"

Realized I can never win
Sometimes I feel like I have failed
Inside where do I begin
My mind is laughing at me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Sometimes I can never tell
If I've got something after me
That's why I just beg and plead
For this curse to leave me
Tell me why am I to blame
Aren't we suppose to be the same
That's why I will never tame
This thing that's burning in me

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Betrayed
I feel so enslaved
I really Tried
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time
I did my time

I am the one who chose my path
I am the one who couldn't last
I feel the life pulled from me
I feel the anger changing me

Oh God, the anger's changing me

-----

Well, this is crunch time 'a coming - I know I have my friends, and Im gracious for all of them, but the emotional walls are beginning to break down now - and all I can feel is this un-directed hate towards my Father, Chrissie, my situation, how I'm still clawing my way towards getting something thats damn well mine.

This was my push out here, standing on my own two feet - this is me, standing on my own, drawing my line in the sand, and making this for myself - preparing for my future, which im not willing to let go, despite the "Realists" out there who claim that i didnt plan this all the way through, or telling me I've allready failed, and that i should return to Daventry and stay there, my answer to that is "No" plain and simple - "No"

I've gone through too much to give up here and now, i admit - the thought has run through my own head, but I've had to do so much, and been talking to people about this, and I'm not going to surrender - This is me, raising my finger to the god-damned universe and almost every power in it and yelling "Take me if you think you fucking well can! Finish the job or leave me the FUCK ALONE!"

-----

At the moment, I have a small army behind me - people whom have been rallied to help me in this moment of need, and all i can say is thankyou, to all of you, even those i havent met, if you guys come through for me in this, well - Im going to use the sentiment of the song above - "Fight", to claim this place for my future, then I will owe you more than I can ever really say in words.

I have now run out of places to go to through the college, student houses and rooms to rent are now all, gone - the same goes for pretty much all of the rooms for rent I've tried through the Farnborough News and The Star, I have one last option of my own to check - which is at 5pm tonight, I'm hoping to god that room is still avaliable when i make that call.

If it isnt, i have two options (that i know of).

- Option 1 - Return to Daventry, on compassionate leave, and inform my bosses of the perdicament and hope i can leave on the basis that i may return. While in Daventry, hit the net hard and fast and organise a place to live post-christmas, and then travel back and forth via train (which will cost me heavily, i know that allready) to viewings and interviews to find a place to live before january 10th (The date of my first english exam) and carry on despite this set back.

- Option 2 - Go into a B&B, loose money through paying for a room each night (far more than the train, but far closer to "home"), and stay here, continueing my search, going to work and going to college, continue my work and keep going until i either find a place or go bankrupt.

Right now, im open to extra options if anyone can think of them, i have until 5pm tonight to find out if i have to take these options - if i do, i have until tomorrow morning to decide which - and then - details to organise.

-----

Well, this has been a short update from my world - hopefully the rest of it is still going, all i can say is "Come on universe, what the fuck have you got left?!"

There are no comments to this entry.